RECENT BLOG POSTS
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I'm sure you're all aware of what the sensationalist media has termed "black ice." This is ice that has formed on top of blacktop (such as our parking lot), which makes it less than visible, therefore leading to an increased amount of slipping injuries. I'm here to tell you that just because it'...
12/14/2007
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Giving Thanks is a Sign of WeaknessA lot of people have asked me how the Schrutes enjoy the traditional holiday of "Thanksgiving." The answer is simple. We do not. Celebrating a holiday that encourages blind appreciation for everything and anything in a person's life diminishes the rare instances...
11/30/2007
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Dogs make good friends, but if you're looking for a really dependable pal, you've got to get yourself a spoon. Spoons never run away, they never rat you out, they come in handy when all you've got is soup, and, best of all, they turn into a weapon during a bar fight. Sure they're not much when it...
11/02/2007
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If anyone knows how to get chocolate out of hair, let me know. I fell asleep on top of forty Fun Size Milky Ways last night and now I've got nougat everywhere. I already tried peanut butter, but that just made my hair into a different kind of candy. I'll make you a deal: you get it out of my hair...
11/02/2007
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I Do Not Believe in LycanthropesSeeing as it's the second to last week in October, it seems fitting to discuss the major event that will soon be upon us: the full moon. This cannot be taken lightly, as it only happens once every 29 and a half days when the synodic month is reset. It is also not...
10/26/2007
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1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. 2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the...
09/06/2007
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To Shoot or Not to Shoot,that is the question. Alot of people know that I am a volunteer Sheriff, and so have asked me where can they do some recreational shooting in the OC. I have a few favorite places, but those ,for reasons of privacy and top security, I'm not able to divulge.How...
09/06/2007
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Ron has a great idea. Since our office is pet friendly, we're going to feature our pets on our office web site. Very cool idea. So, I've decided to share some photos of my pets. I have several kinds of pets since I grew up on a beet farm. The first is my kitten: her name is Killer. I've tr...
08/06/2007
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"When the fire heats the water to the boiling point, we have to keep it lighted with the same intensity, because if we reduce its flame, the water gets cold. It is not enough to boil the water, we have to keep it boiling all the time." - a famous oriental/asian karate proverbThat is my phil...
07/12/2007
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Yesterday I had a truly unfortunate thing happen. I was running late to work at Re/Max NOC, and made myself a quick sandwich as I was leaving. I FORGOT TO PUT ANYTHING ON THE BREAD!!! Imagine my surprise when I unwrapped from wax paper a sandwich made only of two pieces of bread with a litt...
06/30/2007