Jason E. Gordon, Sr Loan Officer, CMA, CMPS, CDLP, CDRE, RCSD, CDPE (AmeriFirst Financial Inc, San Diego, CA)

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Rainmaker
502,276
Susie Kay
Ultra Real Estate Dallas Fort Worth - Plano, TX
North Dallas Specialist

They don't agree and won't communicate with each other so you have 2 people telling you 2 different things.

Apr 05, 2019 09:38 AM
Rainmaker
869,101
Candice A. Donofrio
Next Wave RE Investments LLC Bullhead City AZ Commercial RE Broker - Fort Mohave, AZ
928-201-4BHC (4242) call/text

Lordy. I am happy to say that I rarely need to do so in my discipline.

HOWEVER, I do have some horror stories re both residential and investment property. One divorcing couple's ATTORNEYS would not allow a deal to go through without picking it apart. The couple were so exhausted they allowed the lunatics to run the asylum.

Another, and this was so sad - we were 2 days from closing a very long land deal and the megabitch wife served her husband with divorce papers out of the blue. He was shocked and saddened but wanted to continue with the deal. All she had to do was sign a disclaimer deed. NOPE. She wanted that money for HER. So Megabitch hosed the deal. Then Megabitch went to work for a local lender where Megabitch lasted for 2 weeks because . . . she was a Megabitch! LOL

We stayed friends with the husband and MB went back to MO where hopefully she has become permanently embedded in one of their famous caverns. LOL

How to handle this? Dispassionately. We can only be empathetic from a safe distance, do not 'take sides' and do what is necessary for the good of all. Except MB. May she rot in hell. 

TGIF Tall Cans In The Air!

Apr 05, 2019 07:35 AM
Ambassador
5,215,199
Bob Crane
Woodland Management Service / Woodland Real Estate, EXP - Stevens Point, WI
Forestland Experts! 715-204-9671

Fortunately this has not been an issue.

Apr 05, 2019 10:41 PM
Rainmaker
1,723,580
Anthony Acosta - ALLATLANTACONDOS.COM
Harry Norman, REALTORS® - Atlanta, GA
Associate Broker

Getting both parties in the same room and having a civil discussion. 

Apr 05, 2019 03:06 PM
Rainmaker
5,570,665
Barbara Todaro
RE/MAX Executive Realty - Retired - Franklin, MA
Previously Affiliated with The Todaro Team

this is the perfect question for Sally K. & David L. Hanson ..... this is one of their niche areas....

Apr 05, 2019 10:41 AM
Rainmaker
665,753
Peter Testa
Nationwide Homes - Danbury, CT
PETER TESTA

I have had clients going through or having had divorces. While selling their house I treated them the same same as any other client. You just hope they're both on the same page when it comes to the sale. 

Apr 05, 2019 09:25 AM
Rainer
294,487
Libby Cousins
Extraordinary Processing - Spokane, WA
Contract Mortgage Processor, licensed in WA

Communication and agreement. One thing that I have learned over the years and tell everyone is to keep your divorce decree and child support orders FOREVER. I am constantly amazed how often I need to provide them to an underwriter 10, 15 even 18 years later when the kids are obviously grown. If any payments are listed on the credit report or go through the state, they are in danger of not being closed accurately and you need to prove the end dates with the final decree. 

Apr 05, 2019 09:21 AM
Rainmaker
360,971
Joseph Domino 480-390-6011
HomeSmart - Scottsdale, AZ
Real Estate Made Easy

The biggest challenge is dealing with the emotional aspect. Sometimes the two parties have lost trust in each other.

I had one once where we were ready to list and sell, but the two parties refused to agree on anything. The house went to foreclosure.

Apr 05, 2019 09:16 AM
Rainmaker
3,333,274
Sally K. & David L. Hanson
EXP Realty 414-525-0563 - Brookfield, WI
WI Real Estate Agents - Luxury - Divorce

Please feel free to contact me with any questions about all things divorce...414 525 0563...we have closed almost 400 divorce related transactions

Apr 05, 2019 08:48 AM
Rainmaker
1,838,035
Bob "RealMan" Timm
Ward County Notary Services - Minot, ND
Owner of Ward Co. Notary Services, retired Realtor

Believe it or not Jason E. Gordon in 20 years I have not had to deal with it.

Apr 05, 2019 08:47 AM
Rainmaker
3,908,646
Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Realtor

I've done any number of divorce sales and can't say it's been difficult. On the whole my clients have been quite cooperative and everything moved smoothly.

Apr 05, 2019 08:22 AM
Rainmaker
5,368,342
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Jason,

We did not work with divorcing homeowners.  You may want to subscribe to Sally K. & David L. Hanson blog as that is one of their specialties.  My sense is that one needs to be impartial.  A

Apr 05, 2019 07:37 AM
Rainmaker
3,873,651
Richard Weeks
Dallas, TX
REALTOR®, Broker

Dealing with their emotions.

Apr 05, 2019 07:23 AM
Rainmaker
966,813
Doug Dawes
Keller Williams Realty - Topsfield, MA - Georgetown, MA
Your Personal Realtor®

I would have to say that keeping the process emotion free and civil

Apr 07, 2019 06:01 AM
Rainmaker
527,160
Lynnea Miller
Bend Premier Real Estate - Bend, OR
Premier Real Estate Service in Central Oregon

Getting them to agree!  We dealt with divorcing homeowners as a buyer's agent.  Each owner had their own agent - and getting them to agree was really hard!

Apr 06, 2019 09:45 PM
Rainmaker
1,673,792
Carol Williams
Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals. - Wenatchee, WA
Retired Agent / Broker / Property Manager

I rarely dealt with that, thankfully.  The biggest challenge is to be sure both sides are equally informed.

Apr 06, 2019 03:48 PM
Rainmaker
3,069,684
Tony and Suzanne Marriott, Associate Brokers
Serving the Greater Phoenix and Scottsdale Metropolitan Area - Scottsdale, AZ
Haven Express @ Keller Williams Arizona Realty

Two times in the last 4 months.  Always an interesting dynamic to observe - but definitely not get involved with!

Apr 06, 2019 07:02 AM
Ambassador
2,531,733
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate - St. George, UT
So Utah Residential, Referral & Relocation REALTOR

Avoid becoming emotionally involved and treat both fairly. Text, email and have conversations with both at the same time so all are on board.

Apr 05, 2019 07:15 PM
Ambassador
4,091,861
Debe Maxwell, CRS
www.iCharlotteHomes.com | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
The right Charlotte REALTOR!

I've learned through the years that you have to set boundaries - no emotions allowed! This is a business transaction and when they hear you say those words during your first conversation with them, each subsequent time you have to say those words again, they snap back...most of the time anyway!

Apr 05, 2019 05:18 PM
Rainmaker
189,291
Kris Collis, Associate Broker
Smart Way America Realty - East Stroudsburg, PA
Professional Results you Expect 570-801-5525

The Rain here has excellent info on this and do reach out to the Hansons Blog

https://activerain.com/blogsview/5348230/no-one-buys-a-house-or-gets-married-not-expecting-happily--ever-after

activerain.com/.../guide-for-selling-a-home-during-a-divorce

activerain.com/.../divorce--contingent-liability-vs--mortgage-financing

 

Apr 05, 2019 04:24 PM
Rainmaker
1,168,034
Margaret Goss
Baird & Warner Real Estate - Winnetka, IL
Chicago's North Shore & Winnetka Real Estate

One of my most difficult and heart-wrenching deals was with a divorcing couple. 

The issues?

  1. wouldn't communicate with each other unless in fighting mode
  2. ignored my calls 
  3. tried to make decisions unilaterally 
  4. complained to me about how horrible the spouse was
  5. tanked the deal for spite

I could go on . . . but you're getting the idea.

Apr 05, 2019 02:16 PM
Ambassador
3,222,919
Anna Banana Kruchten CRS, CRB, Phoenix Broker
HomeSmart Real Estate BR030809000 - Phoenix, AZ
602-380-4886

When one of the parties is feeling like a  victim and dealing with that emotion and/or their anger can be tedious. Thankfully that has been rare over the years.

Apr 05, 2019 01:33 PM
Rainmaker
869,141
Annette Lawrence , Palm Harbor, FL 727-420-4041
ReMax Realtec Group - Palm Harbor, FL
Making FLORIDA Real Estate EZ

Is it important to understand the human emotion that follows betrayal.

Such emotion is not confined to the two who are divorcing.

They are hearing voices from all sides. Some from their tribe. Others who simply hate the other tribe. The voice they don't hear is the wise one who knows not to get caught in the cross-fire.

Regardless of who is right or wrong, you must present yourself as impartial, not dispassionate. Listen, listen, listen. Understand that when you nod yes, it is to acknowledge you HEAR them NOT agree with them.

"Yes, I hear you."

You very well may be the only reasonable voice in the fray.  It is helpful to play the 'Is there more?" scenario to allow him/her, him/him, her/her, her was him/her, him was her and him.  Let them get it out and conclude with "I am relieved you shared with me how you feel. Now that you know I know, we really don' t need to bring it up again while we are involved in selling this house." They can't do it, but it's worth a try.

Just remember, yours may be the only sane person who is able to talk to them.

Now, is your PURPOSE to sell houses of ease the suffering others may be enduring?

Apr 05, 2019 12:25 PM
Rainmaker
831,948
Jeff Pearl
RE/MAX Distinctive / LIC in VA - Lovettsville, VA
Full Service Full Time Realtor

The main problem is usually when they won't agree on what needs to be done. Sometimes I've had to meet one spouse at the home, then drive to next town and meet other spouse at McDonald's. Avoid taking sides.

Apr 05, 2019 11:38 AM
Ambassador
3,001,787
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
Probate Real Estate

One was ... War of the Roses. 

I am working one now that's been very amicable.  

Apr 05, 2019 11:27 AM
Rainmaker
1,697,649
Lyn Sims
RE/MAX Suburban - Schaumburg, IL
Schaumburg Real Estate

I really haven't had all the many problems. I tell them that one person has to be made main contact not them & their attorneys (4).

Only had one seller who refused to leave his condo.

Apr 05, 2019 10:31 AM
Rainmaker
1,092,717
Kevin J. May
Florida Supreme Realty - Hobe Sound, FL
Serving the Treasure & Paradise Coasts of Florida

Getting them to sit down with a Real Estate Attorney to sort through the home issue first is paramount to success. Divorce lawyers do not do real property very well and their efforts are well spent being contained within the realm of personal property in my opinion

Apr 05, 2019 10:08 AM
Rainmaker
6,369,579
Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD

Getting them to agree is sometimes a challenge.

 

Apr 05, 2019 09:12 AM
Rainmaker
4,021,668
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

The best source for an answer to your question would be Sally K. & David L. Hanson

Apr 05, 2019 08:29 AM
Rainmaker
519,701
Greg Cremia
Shore Realty of the Outer Banks - Nags Head, NC

communication

Apr 05, 2019 08:02 AM
Rainmaker
1,361,958
Ryan Huggins - Thousand Oaks, CA
https://HugginsHomes.com - Thousand Oaks, CA
Residential Real Estate and Investment Properties

I've only had one of these and it was no different than other listings.  It was a friendly divorce.

Apr 05, 2019 08:01 AM
Rainmaker
1,707,347
Joe Pryor
The Virtual Real Estate Team - Oklahoma City, OK
REALTOR® - Oklahoma Investment Properties

Decision making.

Apr 05, 2019 06:30 PM
Rainmaker
1,136,268
Sam Shueh
(408) 425-1601 - San Jose, CA
mba, cdpe, reopro, pe

It is often a referall from divorce lawyers.  

Apr 05, 2019 03:42 PM
Rainmaker
868,474
John Juarez
The Medford Real Estate Team - Fremont, CA
ePRO, SRES, GRI, PMN

I am working with a couple of different divorcing individuals now. A seller  and a buyer. Both, after months and months, keep saying their divorce is not yet finalized.

Apr 05, 2019 10:44 AM
Rainmaker
3,838,517
Will Hamm
Hamm Homes - Aurora, CO
"Where There's a Will, There's a Way!"

Trying to get them both on the same page.

Apr 10, 2019 09:14 AM
Rainmaker
1,044,289
Dave Martin (703) 585-4687
Fairfax Realty - Fairfax, VA
Making Realty Dreams a Reality #WeWillGetYouHome

Probably the biggest challenge is keeping those that are going through a contenscious life experience to not be so upset with each other that the sabotage themselves..

When the divorcing couple can put that aside and focus on the goal that benefits them both the most and avoid being spiteful things go much better.

Being an agent in during a divorce means being able to help them through it but give them the ability to put it aside for the home they are selling.

I've helped quite a few such divorcing couples tackle their real estate issues in Northern Virginia over the years 

Apr 08, 2019 09:19 AM
Rainmaker
4,736,785
Joan Cox
House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

Some won't agree with each other simply on principle.

Apr 20, 2019 06:47 PM