Sadly, I've had to deal with far more drunken agents than clients!

You never know what you will experience as a real estate professional. 

I once went to a home for a listing presentation.  The wife was home on her lunch hour but the husband was obviously intoxicated.  When the house closed he showed up at the office reeking of cigarette smoke and demanding his money immediately.

I have a low tolerance for any kind of nonsense, drama or grief factor. Stay the hell out of the way and let me exceed your expectations. Otherwise you'll soon be free to pick another.

A drunk agent called me to ask if had buyers for the listing she had across the street from one I'd just sold.  

Prior to listing with the other agent, the seller had come over to talk with me a few times and called me as well.  He was an odd guy who said and did all kinds of crazy things, so I didn't want to engage with him.

I told the agent I didn't have a buyer for her and asked how things were going. She unloaded, saying that when she told the seller what the house was worth, he called her a lying, f***ing b!tch and told her to get the f*** out of his house and that was just the beginning.  She said PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE bring me a buyer!  I want this to be over!  PLEASE!!!!!

With that kind of client, I'd probably drink, too. 

Never had to deal with that so far.

I had a client get in my car once with a cocktail in a travel mug and I asked him to leave it behind or he and his wife could follow me. They followed, she drove.

You can't show property or represent them in a contract if they are not competent to sign. Can't say I have seen this situation.

You never know what you will experience as a real estate professional. Difficult situations come with the territory.

I dealt with that once.  Seller as rocking and slurring holding a rum and coke at 9am.  I actually cancelled the listing. It was too much liability. Far more to it than that ... it could fill a book.

My client folks tend to be pretty mild and cooperative

Nope, I live a boring real estate life!

Many a time I have arrived at the hunting shack of our clients only to find them already well into a weekend party binge.

Have had some unruly tenants out of control when a showing was scheduled. The buyer bought the property and evicted them!

Having assured the listing agent he would stay out of the way during the open house, the shirtless home owner chose to stay out of the way in the back yard staring at the grill while committed to making a case of Old Milwaukee disappear. It wasn't pretty and way to chatty. 

The good news?   IT was the shortest open house that agent ever held.

Have not experience anything like that. 

Have yet to come across clients like this... and not looking to do so soon!

Andrew - Fortunately I have not had to deal with that during contract negotiations. Have had some drinkers during social engagements, or after closing.

I have not run into drunks, and sadly, don't have any stories.

It happens.  If I can tell the person has an altered mental state from drugs/alcohol I won't deal with them.  I'll make them wait until they sober up or have their Broker talk to me if it's urgent.

   Stoned Seller.  I told her that showing agents might call the police when they see her tray and her bong on the coffee table; please put it away. 

None

come back another day

I consider a sellers 'drunk' when they listen to their heart only - and do not listen a word of his/her agent, Andrew Mooers.

I have had sellers very relaxed from a cocktail too many but not to the point of slurring words and being in a state of incapacity.

No thank you.

I've not had the misfortune of any of those options

when you list new construction, everyone stands up straight and marches to the beat.... or they don't close...

Don't recall any drunk clients over the years but I do clearly remember a couple of agents that presented offers while under the influence - pretty bizarre to me.

I've had a few who blurt some racist things now and then, and I just wont tolerate it.  I've even has someone question me as to why I stopped them  "why? you arent XX nationality , are you?- You shouldn't care"   

That client did choose to go with another agent.

Boy you bet & I mentioned that I'm on my way home & no signing will take place until a sleep off occurs.

Some agents don't even care, just sign here Mr Tipsy Seller.

Must say have not encountered that with buyers or sellers while working with them. What they did on their own time, don't know.

I tell my clients up front that won't fly

Andrew,

Has not happened to us.  

No and if I did, I would not accept any contracts from that person

Not so far - fortunately!

Lucky for me I have never experienced that situation.

No such experience.

Andrew Mooers I must have lead a sheltered life. Nothing to report here.