I would be a bridge loan, since I bring people together and also am the road to happiness 

what kind of loan... what kind of loan... hmmmm...

I think I'd be a loan shark... yeah, that's the ticket.

PAID IN FULL .... Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cash only...no deferred anything, just give me the cold hard cash/facts now!

The Extended Payment Plan with $1.00 down and $1.00/mo.

I would be a chameleon loan.  Whichever one the buyer could qualify for.

"Fixed".   

I'd be a VA loan without the VA appraiser.

I'd be available after full-doc pre-approval only, but then I'm rock solid.

I'd be there to ensure home-ownership, not challenge it.

An awesome loan!  The best loan ever!  The loan you never want to return.

Loving reading the answers!!  'Extended Payment Plan' and bridge loan - priceless Sandy Padula and Norm Padula, JD, GRI NMLS#1483386 and Bob Betel!

Huh? Not my kind of thing these kinds of questions. Sorry.

I'd be a private loan from a hard-money lender. Slightly less required for qualification, slightly higher rates, and if you fail to pay...I'm the one that knocks!

I feel like I'm in 3rd grade .... but I'd like to be an FHA loan as I help more people that need help with a lower DP.

I'd also like to be cash - that would be better.

Transactional loan.

Instant gratification. Incredible ROI. LOW/NO risk.

Why, a jumbo loan of course because for some only the best will do. 

A 20% down 15 year conventional loan.  I'm solid, dependable and get the job done fast.

As a Mortgage Banker.....If I could afford the payment I would do a 15 year fixed rate mortgage. Reason: Current rates are in the mid 3% range, after 5 years on a $200,000. mortgage your principal balance is reduced by over     25 % 0r $50,000. with 10 years remaining. On a 30 year mortgage principal is reduced by $19,000. or a little less than 10 % with 25 years to go. Also, most people do not realize that the increase in payment is not double. The difference is approx. $491.00 and when you consider the interest savings on the 15 year of approx. $250,000 it is a no brain-er to go 15 years.  What do I have? 20 Years,so I am just OK....

Fixed rate for life with no hidden fees or points. Small party when paid off

Are you selling Stronger Together books today Justin?

I am not creative this way. Sorry. But I do think you got some very creative responses!

I'd be an assumable mortgage because it's the path of least resistance for all real estate agents AND their clients....

Justin,

Interesting question and interesting answers.

Justin Arlequin VA Loan to assist our Veterans.

A demand loan.

I'd be the perfect LOAN just what that buyer needed to make their dreams come true ;-) Justin Arlequin 

VA Loan done deal each time

Great answers here ;-) I would be private mortgage loan but I would be fair and equitable on the terms and rate.-Kasey

Make America Great Again the Loan!!!

I am a cash guy, no loans.  

Alan May nailed this one!

Adjustable and unconventional. Flexibility is everything.

Justin - Surprised nobody said a reverse mortgage loan.

Justin Arlequin - BRAIN LOAN!

This is an interesting question. And since I do not like to be just in one box, I'd be just a conventional since there are many options to it. 

I would be the CASH option. I don't want any long term payouts at my age.

            #MAGA loan.

No ide

FHA

I would be CASH as well. No frills, no contingenices.

Conv.  Lowest cost to consumer

High equity low risk.

I'd be a 30-year fixed - in it for the long term, strong, and stable

20% down fixed rate 30 year amortization would be choice one. Next a 100% VA loan to a qualified candidate!