John DL Arendsen, Crest Backyard Homes "ADU" dealer & RE Developer (CREST "BACKYARD' HOMES, ON THE LEVEL General & Manufactured Home Contractor, TAG Real Estate Sales & Investments)

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Tony and Suzanne Marriott, Associate Brokers
Serving the Greater Phoenix and Scottsdale Metropolitan Area - Scottsdale, AZ
Haven Express @ Keller Williams Arizona Realty

Our best practice is to call in "Sam"...ask Candice A. Donofrio if you don't believe me!! 

Jun 17, 2016 10:45 PM
Eve Alexander
Buyers Broker of Florida - Tampa, FL
Exclusively Representing ONLY Tampa Home Buyers

We were trying to get our foot in the door with a relo company and finally got our fist client. He was old, retired military and short. First it was flatterey, brushing imaginary dirt from my hair ....and then he came in the office and attempted to kiss me on the lips.  

I very cooly said I had an appointement and left.  From then on Mike was his agent and I made sure I never saw him again.  Mike closed him and said he always asked about me...ugh.

Another time Mike and I had some upscale clients that invited us over to their house.  As soon as we sat down, they brought out the wine and  he started talking about my long legs and the wife liked Mike's muscles.  Then the neighbors dropped by with more bottles of booze...and the subject turned to sex.  OMGosh, they were all swingers!!

We excused ourselves and ran to the car...laughing all the way home...we never did sell them a house.


Jun 18, 2016 02:55 AM
Gabe Sanders
Real Estate of Florida specializing in Martin County Residential Homes, Condos and Land Sales - Stuart, FL
Stuart Florida Real Estate

I would let them know that you don't feel you're in a position to be able to help them out and it would be better if they sought a different agent for representation.

Jun 18, 2016 02:49 AM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Pasadena And Southern California 818.516.4393

I recall reading a post by Gabe Sanders on this subject -- maybe he can share his thoughts.  It isn't anything I have yet encountered.

Jun 18, 2016 01:34 AM
Annette Lawrence , Palm Harbor, FL 727-420-4041
ReMax Realtec Group - Palm Harbor, FL
Making FLORIDA Real Estate EZ

Never go ALONE!

"I'd would like you to meet my Hubby/Wife and we can chat a bit over a frozen beverage."

It IS as simple as that. Never go ALONE.

OF course Hubby/Wife needs to understand their role and be able to Not take up an offense but enjoy the reward.

You must be able to keep the conversation centered on social or biz and be seated more than an arms length away.

It is amazing, even funny what happens when things are dragged into the sunshine.

Jun 18, 2016 01:04 AM
Anna Hatridge
R Gilliam Real Estate LLC - Farmington, MO
Missouri Realtor with R Gilliam Real Estate LLC

Yes, and I finally just asked if they would like to work with a different agent. That seemed to work, because they apologized and became much easier to work with.

Jun 20, 2016 12:05 AM
Richard Bazinet /MBA, CRS, ABR
West USA Realty - Scottsdale, AZ
Phoenix Scottsdale. Sellers, Buyers & Relocations

Harassment? What kind? How come I never got any? It's not fair.... 

Jun 19, 2016 11:39 PM
Debbie Reynolds, C21 Platinum Properties
Platinum Properties- (931)771-9070 - Clarksville, TN
The Dedicated Clarksville TN Realtor-(931)320-6730

I am direct and have said let's stick to business or you have a wonderful wife and she wouldn't appreciate you acting this way.

Jun 18, 2016 10:42 AM
Fred Hafdelin
Weichert Realtors - Mountain Lakes, NJ

Some flirting but nothing really aggressive. Forget "politely" if a Client who knows im married still persists.  She has already offended me by thinking I would do something sleazy. The gloves would be off at that point.   

Jun 18, 2016 10:41 AM
Carla Muss-Jacobs, RETIRED
RETIRED / State License is Inactive - Portland, OR

When I was a newer agent, and struggling financially I had a wife and husband couple who were just terrible people.  They'd argue over evertyhing, from placing an imaginary lamp in the dining room of a home they weren't even interested in, to other non-important things.  One day, as I was driving them to another property to view, I forget the conversation, but the wife of 20+ years says "I wouldn't mind if Ron had a girlfriend . . . as long as she was nice."

Ron, the husband was in the car at the time!!!

They were a smug, full of themselves couple . . . he was a finance guy in charge of a state's employee pension fund.  He invested funds worldwide, and was probably on the dole, taking kick-backs and lived the high life.

Meanwhile, I was a single mother, NOT impressed!

What did I do . . . I went home and cried.  It was very upsetting to me.

Jun 18, 2016 09:44 AM
Gene Mundt, IL/WI Mortgage Originator - FHA/VA/Conv/Jumbo/Portfolio/Refi
NMLS #216987, IL Lic. 031.0006220, WI Licensed. APMC NMLS #175656 - New Lenox, IL
708.921.6331 - 40+ yrs experience

I'm chuckling a bit here, John DL Arendsen, because when you said harrassment, I thought you meant this client was overstepping or getting rude because of business or a transaction.  Jeesh, never even entered my mind initially that you meant what you did.  Makes me wonder what else I've been missing!

Just stay safe ... these days you never know ...


Jun 18, 2016 06:13 AM
Lyn Sims
Schaumburg, IL
Real Estate Broker Retired

Wow, no means no even for guys! I guess you're going to have to let her down gently but sometimes you can't do that or they just continue. 

Jun 18, 2016 03:34 AM
Will Hamm
Hamm Homes - Aurora, CO
"Where There's a Will, There's a Way!"

Stop it now!

Jun 18, 2016 02:17 AM
Thomas J. Nelson, REALTOR ® e-Pro CRS RCS-D Vets
Big Block Realty 858.232.8722 - La Jolla, CA
CEO of Vision Drive Realty - Coastal San Diego

What are they doing specifically John? Hard to advise not knowing, meantime:

I set boundaries in meeting #1. When they violate those boundaries, I remind them of what they agreed to. If it's a buyer, I also remind them that since I'm a FREE service, I control my hours. With sellers, it depends on the circumstances. Never forget your value, you are the professional; you are the surgeon, the lawyer the Realtor, so do not let them run you disrespectfully. "This is how we do it here or I'm happy to refer you to someone else that's a better fit."

Jun 18, 2016 12:13 AM
Susan Emo
Sotheby's International Realty Canada - Brokerage - Kingston, ON
Kingston and the 1000 Islands Area

All joking aside John DL Arendsen, it does become scary when people do not understand that No means No!   I see this sort of harassment with both men and women these days and I know many men who need to always make sure they have a witness in the room with certain Women !!

Jun 17, 2016 11:56 PM
John DL Arendsen
CREST "BACKYARD' HOMES, ON THE LEVEL General & Manufactured Home Contractor, TAG Real Estate Sales & Investments - Leucadia, CA
Crest Backyard Homes "ADU" dealer & RE Developer

Perhaps I should have said BUGGED not HARRASSED. Probably a little harsher than it needed to be. It's just that I'm a happily married HUSBAND, FATHER & GRANDFATHER and haven't been HIT on since my college days. I guess I should have felt more FLATTERED than HARRASSED huh? LOL!!

Jun 17, 2016 11:32 PM
Michael Setunsky
Woodbridge, VA
Your Commercial Real Estate Link to Northern VA

John DL Arendsen Politely tell them they're fired and move on.

Jun 17, 2016 11:04 PM
Terry McCarley
Coastal Real Estate - Cape Coral FL - Cape Coral, FL

Unfortunately I had a male client that harassed me so badly I turned him over to a male agent in my office.  He continued anyway to call and text me at all hours.  I was forced to send him notice that the police would be contacted if he didn't cease all contact with me immediately and that took care of it.

Jun 17, 2016 10:38 PM
Greg Large
ERA Real Solutions - Grove City, OH
A Tradition of Trust

Yes had it happen before.  The way I handled it was to tell them I am not one to assume things but it *feels* like you may be flirting with me, and I don't want our business relationship to get awkward.  Had it go both ways from there, they seemed slightly embarrassed and stopped and other times something like they would be interested in taking beyond business. Flattered but no and moved on.

Jun 20, 2016 09:43 AM
Steve Siegwalt
Realty Austin - Dripping Springs, TX
Experts in Real Estate Relationships!

I can say the best advice is to travel in pairs! :^} My wife and I almost always go on listing apts. together. It gives us a great understanding of the clients along with their experience as to how we treat each other with professionalism and respect. 

Jun 20, 2016 12:42 AM
John Juarez
The Medford Real Estate Team - Fremont, CA

What a fascinating string!

If you simply live your life in any business (real estate is not unique) some challenging experiences will present themselves. How you handle them is defined by your own moral persuasion and proclivities.


I appreciate the professional and uplifting tone of the comments in response to the questions posed here.

Jun 19, 2016 01:02 AM
Olga Simoncelli
Veritas Prime, LLC dba Veritas Prime Real Estate - New Fairfield, CT
CONSULTANT, Real Estate Services & Risk Management

We discuss; if it's over the top, I fire them - don't need the grief. Luckily, has not happened often.

Jun 19, 2016 12:09 AM
James (Jim) Lawson, DBA LLC - Bonita Springs, FL
Broker Associate, RSPS, BPOR, HI & PE

Incident #1...Did not have a RE license at the time. Was acting as the personal representative for my mother's estate. Two agents, working as a team, started rolling around on my parents' bed begging for me to give them the listing. Told them that I was gay and left the room. My wife congratulated me for the quick thinking.

Incident #2...Same house as #1-male agent races through the house, sits down and asks me to sign a listing agreement. Tell him I'm still interviewing. He then pulls out more paperwork that he asks me to sign while covering the top of the form. Says I need to to sign it so his boss will know he met with me. It was another copy of the listing agreement. He found the front door in a nano second with my help.   

Incident  #3...Designed and built a luxury home for a single lady. Everyday, during both phases, she constantly  called me to make changes. Finally, had to lay down the law by tripling the cost of each proposed change order.

Incident #4...Had a rental listing. HOA didn't allow pets. Prospective tenant had a small dog that she wanted to bring with her that I found out about through a third party. Putting a stop to it caused some temporary harassment.

Live long enough....stuff happens!

Jun 18, 2016 03:18 PM
Patricia Kennedy
RLAH@Properties - Washington, DC
Home in the Capital

I did, and I wasn't terribly polite. I'm sure I did offent the guy.  Too bad.

Jun 18, 2016 03:07 PM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

I don't think we can work together, you need to find a different agent.

Jun 18, 2016 01:54 PM
Lise Howe
Keller Williams Capital Properties - Washington, DC
Assoc. Broker in DC, MD, VA and attorney in DC

I have occasionally gotten "the vibe" but I just ignore it and make sure I am always at least a few feet safely away

Jun 18, 2016 12:57 PM
Noah Seidenberg
Coldwell Banker - Evanston, IL
Chicagoland and Suburbs (800) 858-7917

My style is to ignore.

Jun 18, 2016 12:35 PM
Scott Godzyk
Godzyk Real Estate Services - Manchester, NH
One of the Manchester NH's area Leading Agents

Yes, a guy that would call every morning for an update on his sale, i would give it. The late afternoon he would call drunk yelling how i never updated him that morning as requested. and repeat...

Jun 18, 2016 11:12 AM
Hella M. Rothwell, Broker/Realtor®
Carmel by the Sea, CA
Rothwell Realty Inc. CA#01968433 Carmel-by-the-Sea

And it doesn't necessarily have to be sexual advances. Just because we are friendly--that's the nature of the beast because we are in sales. Last year, I had a real problem with an elderly lady down the street. You might remember the Q&A that I did at that time. She'd come to my gate every day. Some people suggested I just give in to her demands and go over to her place, find other friends for her, etc. NO WAY. I choose my own friends and whom I hang out with. Real estate is a business and no one corners me "just to be nice".

Jun 18, 2016 06:14 AM
Barbara Todaro
RE/MAX Executive Realty - Happily Retired - Franklin, MA
Previously Affiliated with The Todaro Team

I never dealt with any harrassment....the rules and program were established at the listing presentation.... and my clients followed those rules... it was made clear that I worked that way.... 

Jun 18, 2016 03:34 AM
Mike Rock
Complete Design - Granite Bay, CA
Granite Bay Luxury New Construction...For Less

i think you can say fart for one thing, the other , to answer your question, is just not to respond... busy..gotta to you later...and then never be available..but thats me

Jun 18, 2016 03:17 AM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
Probate Real Estate Services

I need you to define "harassment".  I don't take shit from anyone these days. If someone is bothering me I am not concerned about offending them. I won't sell my soul.  

Jun 18, 2016 03:17 AM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Boundaries need to be set from the fist meeting. Explain how you work and what is expected. I have not experienced any difficulties.

Jun 18, 2016 03:04 AM
Allie Angeloni
Long Realty - Oro Valley, AZ

Yikes! and fortunately I have not had any issues with client harassment John DL Arendsen.  For me, if a situation appeared to be that way or going in that direction, Roger would be dealing with that client, or not!  I will read replies below to see how others have handled this type of situation. 

Jun 18, 2016 02:41 AM
Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California, Inc. - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

No it hasn't been an issue, although I know several other agents who had issues.

Jun 18, 2016 12:24 AM
Sandy Padula & Norm Padula, JD, GRI
HomeSmart Realty West & Florida Realty Investments - , CA
Presence, Persistence & Perseverance

Never have had that problem, in fact, it is usually the other way around, i.e., we are looking for more communication.

Jun 18, 2016 12:22 AM
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy


Has not happened to either one of us.  

Jun 18, 2016 12:10 AM
Sandy Williams
eXp Realty, - Sarasota, FL

I provide them with my work hours and tell them I do not take calls after a certain point in time unless we are under a time frame to get something finished.   

Jun 19, 2016 11:05 PM
Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Realtor

Oh my goodness... I have no idea how I'd react as I've never had this issue. I suppose the degree of reaction would depend on the degree of harrassment.

Jun 18, 2016 11:48 PM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

I have not had this problem.

Jun 18, 2016 10:46 PM
Jennifer Mackay
Counts Real Estate Group, Inc. - Panama City, FL
Your Bay County Florida Realtor 850.774.6582

I always tell them "I'm stepping into a meeting".  after a few times they stop

Jun 18, 2016 09:24 PM
Bob Crane
Woodland Management Service / Woodland Real Estate, KW Diversified - Stevens Point, WI
Forestland Experts! 715-204-9671

Never felt harrassed, but a few have been a little too needy, best to not answer the calls at all hours, and respond to the calls on your time.

Jun 18, 2016 12:04 PM
Kristen Correa, Broker
Kristen Correa Real Estate & Reedy Creek Realty Services - Keller, TX
I love coffee & real estate. I am out of coffee!

It is very RARE but simple answer to when I feel threatened is 100% ignore. I justify this by the old adage, "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all."

Harrassment comes in so many different levels, though, and I realize when they escalate (they never have pushed me too far) so must we... 

Jun 17, 2016 10:48 PM
Praful Thakkar
LAER Realty Partners - Andover, MA
Andover, MA: Andover Luxury Homes For Sale

John DL Arendsen - excuse me, I got to address this immediately. Let's reconnect after some time when I am free!

Aug 27, 2016 03:51 PM
Brenda J. Andrew
Professional Realtor in Conroe/Willis, TX

I had it happen to me once a long time ago.  The person wasn't even a client.  He wanted to be but could not afford to even purchase a home.  He kept calling, and following me.  He would show up at places that I was.  I finally told my Broker and we called the police and filed a report against him.  I never had another issue with him.  Thank God!!!  It is scary when someone is stalking you.  

Jun 26, 2016 07:14 AM
Inna Ivchenko
Barcode Properties - Encino, CA
Realtor® • GRI • HAFA • PSC Calabasas CA

I'm always polite, even if I do not want to. 

What do you mean by harassment?

Jun 18, 2016 06:20 PM
William Feela
Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.

I have not had much problem with this

Jun 18, 2016 03:10 PM
Harry F. D'Elia III
WEDO Real Estate and Beyond, LLC - Phoenix, AZ
Investor , Mentor, GRI, Radio, CIPS, REOs, ABR

There are times in property management I get these calls when I evict them. They go away shortly.

Jun 18, 2016 08:34 AM
Gita Bantwal
RE/MAX Centre Realtors - Warwick, PA
REALTOR,ABR,CRS,SRES,GRI - Bucks County & Philadel


Jun 17, 2016 11:42 PM
Sam Shueh
(408) 425-1601 - San Jose, CA
mba, cdpe, reopro, pe

That also applied to realtors wanting to get to be in touch with their past clients.

Jun 17, 2016 11:41 PM
Michael J. Perry
KW Elite - Lancaster, PA
Lancaster, PA Relo Specialist

I'm careful not to befriend anyone until post transaction !

Jun 17, 2016 11:40 PM
Susan Laxson CRS
Palm Properties - La Quinta, CA
Realtor in San Diego, CA & Naples, FL

No, fortunately never had that become an issue.

Jun 17, 2016 11:31 PM
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

NO harrassment allowed. The answer to your question is in the question

Jun 17, 2016 10:59 PM
Coal Infantino
Coldwell Banker - York, PA
Realtor specializing in south central PA

No, but I guess this question is more often an issue for women than it is for men. 

Jun 17, 2016 10:58 PM
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Never had it happen. Maybe just lucky!

Jun 17, 2016 10:57 PM