Before or after I stopped laughing?

Get to work right away.....

In my market, I'd tell them to hire another agent.  I don't do high pressure and certainly not in a market with 22 months of inventory and 125 average DOM 

Call your investors.

Price it to sell, blasts it to investors, realtors, every marketing website you can think of.  We have had agents here pricing homes under market value just so they can get into a multiple offer situation.  It has been working.

A week? I will not take a listing with a one week duration. 

However, if at the beginning, a date certain was understood. then I proceed with well defined PLF culminating is a GET IT SOLD open house. 

However, it is the SELLER who determines if the home is to be sold. That is the 'poision pill' contained in the 'under contract' stipulation. The seller, not the agent determines what becomes under contract.

It will depend on type of property and price. If fire sale, i would contact all my cash buyers and solicit highest and best offer from each. If an owner occupied home priced high, it may be a tall order. 

Do an auction at the property.

If this seller is this motivated, he will welcome the opportunity to price the property well ahead of the market. That way, he will receive multiple offers to pick from.  Whether he will be under contract will depend entirely on himself.

kick them to the curb..... 

I wouldn't be working with someone with unrealistic demands

It would depend on where we are in the sales cycle and what has already been done and what is driving them to a one week deadline.

If they were just being antagonistic because they are mean people, I'd probably cancel the contract. Life is too short to deal with all that unnecessary pressure.

If there was a life emergency and they really needed to leave in a week, I'd do whatever I could to help get that baby under contract.

If they just had no idea what it took to sell a house, I'd explain the cycle in more detail (again).

If we hadn't signed the listing agreement yet and they were telling me they expected me to get it sold in a week, I'd tell them I can't help them. Our timeframes here are a lot longer than that.

If...

It all depends!

To fire the client for being unreasonable.

We do it "our" way - that has proven to be successful - 100% of our listings have closed since June 2011 - both traditional and short sale.  If "they know best" - then they will be doing that elsewhere.  Next!

Denise Amara Next! Life is too short!

If the market is good and price is right i have no problem.

If it's in our area it is doable..stage it to perfection, price it at market price and watch the offers roll in!

What the great answers you got for your question. 

Interesting question. 

Will read answers. 

Thank you.

If the market is hot enough to get it done in a week!    Blog, social media sites, email local agents.

If the numbers shows a fast market fine, but if it is a slow market, that is different.  Tell them price always sells and if they are willing to give up some money.

I like what Susan Emo said!

Like in the "Nightmare on Elm Street" series just say "It's only a dream, none of this is real." 

If there is a one week deadline, that price better be way low under the market for starters!

First off I tell them they may need to rethink what they are saying.

Depends on the client and the situation, some would get me moving along to make it a success, others would inspire me to send them to someone else.

Not. A. Problem. in my market.  

Am I to get a new listing that this client wants to buy?

Wouldn't work with a person like that.

Bring your seller down to Earth.

Sure.  No problem.  Here's the price.  

Property is turnkey and has no glaring defects? Fix those. Then, underprice the property by 10-20% and create a feeding frenzy. You didn't mention whether the seller would let you do anything.
OH BTW . . . I get a YUGE bonus for that, thank you.

OR WHAT ? Are they going to pull the listing? I think you better get control of the seller and talk about expectations they have about you and the market. If they are not working with you then they are working against you and it's not likely going to be a good relationship. I might just walk away from this seller if they do not see it my way or come to some compromise which I can accept.

All depends on your local market conditions and housing type and condition.  In our market right now, it's possible!  As long as it's between $100K and $250K, good shape and well maintained.  Also, if they go with my pricing, I would list it in a heartbeat and probably have multiple offers in a few days.

What do the terms of the listing agreement state in this particular situation?

Run! I don't have the contacts yet to be able to consider doing such a thing. A week's not enough time to even have it reliably cascaded out to the various online portals, or to stir up interest in an open house per the normal course of advertising.

I think I'd have to call or visit every broker, every investor, and every person-who-could-conceivably-be-interested that I know and push it really hard. What specifically that would involve I'm afraid I don't know yet. Hopefully, it's a dandy property and maybe I could have a smashing broker's open the day the listing goes live and get a whole lot of private showings in the first few days and maybe do a "we're accepting all offers until <deadline> then reviewing" sort of thing?

Then, even if I'm successful in getting one or more offers, the seller can reject them all yet still blame me for it not being under contract at the end of the week. That's a "joy" of our profession, eh?