Special offer
William Feela, Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.  (WHISPERING PINES REALTY)

Spam prevention
Ambassador
1,452,669
Susan Emo
Sotheby's International Realty Canada - Brokerage - Kingston, ON
Kingston and the 1000 Islands Area

Having been a widow at 30 years of age, I found the immediate busyness helps you through the early days.  I discovered at about 3 months after, most people have moved on and have not really forgotten, but assume you're getting on with life.  Most people will be wrong!  You discover who your true friends are and become more thankful than ever before

Nov 22, 2015 12:02 AM
Rainmaker
7,835,329
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

We try to have the same level of contact that existed before the death.

Nov 22, 2015 01:26 AM
Rainmaker
5,583,278
Barbara Todaro
RE/MAX Executive Realty - Happily Retired - Franklin, MA
Previously Affiliated with The Todaro Team

never cast them aside...never...

Nov 22, 2015 01:13 AM
Rainmaker
5,868,472
Joan Cox
House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

After a short time, most do forget, and that person is grieving the most.  I like to stay in touch for a good year.

Nov 21, 2015 11:48 PM
Rainmaker
5,772,575
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

William

We don't cast anyone aside.  We do stay in touch.  It is what a friend is about. A

Nov 21, 2015 11:46 PM
Rainmaker
5,104,931
Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Realtor

How cruel is it to "cast" anyone in this position aside? After all the "hoopla" of a funeral when it gets quiet is when they need you most.

Nov 22, 2015 08:55 PM
Rainer
2,285
Tanya Dollars
Prudential California Realty - Rancho Cucamonga, CA
Realtor~SB,OC,LA County & Surrounding SoCal areas

My response to this question is of course you still contact them to see how they are doing, and if they need help. Loss of any sort can impact lives, and change the very well being of what we thought would or could be. Over the past several years, I have personally experienced loss, that has been ground shattering, but with the help of friends, family, and even strangers, it helped to soothe some of the pain. It doesnt mean you keep bringing up the "loss", it just means you be there for that person, a simple thought or act of kindness goes along way! To cast one aside, is that truly a concerned friend/family! There is a light outside of the darkness, but sometimes it needs to be re-lit by a call, letter, supporter! 

Nov 22, 2015 01:18 PM
Rainmaker
1,577,943
Karen Fiddler, Broker/Owner
Karen Parsons-Fiddler, Broker 949-510-2395 - Mission Viejo, CA
Orange County & Lake Arrowhead, CA (949)510-2395

 People move on with their lives...not sure they are casting us aside or not. I found, like Susan Emo that at about 3-4 months, noone ever mentioned David's name when I was around. Odd. 

Nov 22, 2015 07:32 AM
Ambassador
2,178,553
Carol Williams
Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals. - Wenatchee, WA
Retired Agent / Broker / Prop. Mgr, Wenatchee, WA

As a widow of 4 1/2 years, what Susan Emo said rings true for the most part. But, unlike her, I was unable to use business as a distraction.  I couldn't function.

I am perceived as a strong, independent, woman and they figured I'll be fine.  You do find out who your real friends are, make new friends and have to move on accordingly.  

My advice:  Keep in touch until they seem to have made a real transition and no longer need YOUR support.    Don't assume they are fine and moving on... unless you really don't care for them.  There isn't any reason to pretend if you don't.  

Nov 22, 2015 01:05 AM
Rainmaker
1,513,143
Raymond E. Camp
Ontario, NY

We stay in contact about once a month as some are older they tend to need more.

Nov 22, 2015 12:45 AM
Rainmaker
4,434,127
Gita Bantwal
RE/MAX Centre Realtors - Warwick, PA
REALTOR,ABR,CRS,SRES,GRI - Bucks County & Philadel

I stay in touch . I agree with Susan . We discover who our true friends are at such times.

Nov 22, 2015 12:13 AM
Rainmaker
1,661,936
John McCormack, CRS
Albuquerque Homes Realty - Albuquerque, NM
Honesty, Integrity, Results, Experienced. HIRE Me!

I must give credit where it's due.  Debbie is awesome in staying in touch with those in need during, after and long after.  Neither of us cast anyone aside.

Nov 21, 2015 11:46 PM
Rainmaker
1,432,649
Gene Riemenschneider
Home Point Real Estate - Brentwood, CA
Turning Houses into Homes

Yes I follow up periodically.  Generally I keep the same level of friendship as before.  Sometimes after a loss though people move on in life and leave you behind.  And sometime after a loss you grow closer to them as you can now meet a need.  

Nov 29, 2015 01:48 AM
Rainmaker
2,538,633
Joe Petrowsky
Mortgage Consultant, Right Trac Financial Group, Inc. NMLS # 2709 - Manchester, CT
Your Mortgage Consultant for Life

Good morning William. We never cast family or a friend aside after a loss, actually stay more connected.

Nov 22, 2015 05:10 PM
Rainmaker
4,319,419
Praful Thakkar
LAER Realty Partners - Andover, MA
Andover, MA: Andover Luxury Homes For Sale

William Feela it depends how close we are!

Lost someone very close one - and we are always in touch with the survivor.

Nov 22, 2015 01:36 PM
Rainmaker
1,683,912
Larry Johnston
Broker, Friends & Neighbors Real Estate and Elkhart County Subdivisions, LLC - Elkhart, IN
Broker,Friends & Neighbors Real Estate, Elkhart,IN

I know many people tend to forget about them, but now is the time to keep in touch with them.

Nov 22, 2015 11:35 AM
Rainmaker
4,160,306
John Pusa
Glendale, CA

William, I stay in touch with them.

Nov 22, 2015 09:30 AM
Rainmaker
3,988,007
Debbie Reynolds, C21 Platinum Properties
Platinum Properties- (931)771-9070 - Clarksville, TN
The Dedicated Clarksville TN Realtor-(931)320-6730

I check on them to see if I can help do anything or invite them to lunch or just to talk.

Nov 22, 2015 09:02 AM
Rainmaker
2,224,473
Debbie Laity
Cedaredge Land Company - Cedaredge, CO
Your Real Estate Resource for Delta County, CO

Of course I don't cast them aside. I stay with them. If it's someone I care about I'm there for them. 

Nov 22, 2015 08:33 AM
Rainmaker
1,725,996
Sandy Padula & Norm Padula, JD, GRI
HomeSmart Realty West & Florida Realty Investments - , CA
Presence, Persistence & Perseverance

Definitely keep in touch and not with the hope of future business. I hold my friends very dear to me.

Nov 22, 2015 08:18 AM
Rainmaker
530,966
Gary Coles (International Referrals)
Venture Realty International - Las Vegas, NV
Latin America Real Estate

I always try to stay in touch and try to see where I can help.

Nov 22, 2015 07:27 AM
Rainmaker
900,128
Olga Simoncelli
Veritas Prime, LLC dba Veritas Prime Real Estate - New Fairfield, CT
CONSULTANT, Real Estate Services & Risk Management

I've heard grieving people say that the hardest time comes after the cards stop arriving and the phone stops ringing. It's good to check in.

Nov 22, 2015 06:39 AM
Rainer
74,457
Michael Scruggs
UTR Texas-Realtors - Houston, TX
ABR, CNE, TAHS

I wouldn't cast my relative or friend aside.  Often times your time and sympathy is needed days, weeks, months and sometimes even  years after the death of a loved one.

Nov 22, 2015 04:49 AM
Rainmaker
1,525,616
Sybil Campbell
Fernandina Beach, FL
Referral Agent Amelia Island Florida

I try to be there to help them.  I did that with my sister-in-law who is a great friend after my brother passed in April 2014.

Nov 22, 2015 03:32 AM
Rainmaker
1,502,998
Ryan Huggins - Thousand Oaks, CA
https://HugginsHomes.com - Thousand Oaks, CA
Residential Real Estate and Investment Properties

Contact them, of course.  I've had a few friends lately who've lost loved ones.  Sad, but you need to be there for them.  Wouldn't be a good friend/loved one if you kicked them to the curb for it.

Nov 22, 2015 03:26 AM
Ambassador
6,392,929
Bob Crane
Woodland Management Service / Woodland Real Estate, KW Diversified - Stevens Point, WI
Forestland Experts! 715-204-9671

It is aways an uncertain time, not knowing what to say, how much to say, should you say things that remind them of their loved one or not...

Nov 22, 2015 02:43 AM
Rainer
42,670
Fred Hafdelin
Weichert Realtors - Mountain Lakes, NJ

Nothing changes in the relationship. I may pay more attention to them for a year or so.

Nov 22, 2015 01:51 AM
Rainmaker
921,504
Annette Lawrence , Palm Harbor, FL 727-420-4041
ReMax Realtec Group - Palm Harbor, FL
Making FLORIDA Real Estate EZ

The bereaved will soon experience a loss of society driven by the inadequacies of their current friends (and our socieity as a whole) abilities to recognize and facilitate grief.

There is that first season of tears of love lost that leaves the bereaved exhausted.... but warm.

Some time later the season of tears is driven by the long walk with sorrow. These tears leaves one helpless, bewildered, confused, lonely, frightened...cold.

At this time a hand to hold in silence is crucial. To choose to sojourn the long lonely with one you care about is the action of a heart that understands the dimensions of real love.

Nov 22, 2015 12:14 AM
Rainmaker
3,071,489
Tony and Suzanne Marriott, Associate Brokers
Serving the Greater Phoenix and Scottsdale Metropolitan Area - Scottsdale, AZ
Haven Express @ Keller Williams Arizona Realty

Contact them

Nov 27, 2015 11:44 PM
Rainmaker
631,962
Vern Eaton
Askov, MN
Realtor 651-674-7449

Never just cast them aside...if they live close by I am there occasionaly

Nov 22, 2015 11:48 PM
Rainmaker
2,759,812
TeamCHI - Complete Home Inspections, Inc.
Complete Home Inspections, Inc. - Brentwood, TN
Home Inspectons - Nashville, TN area - 615.661.029

 Good Monday morning William. I typically send a card or flowers.

Nov 22, 2015 05:21 PM
Rainmaker
2,781,153
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

I am sensitve not to intrude but remain all ears

Nov 22, 2015 08:12 AM