maurice cohn's (vipermoe) Blog

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Mortgage and Lending - iMortgage
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A driver was stuck in traffic and nothing was moving. Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down the window and asks, “What’s going on?” “Terrorists have kidnapped Congress, and they’re asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoli...
12/06/2011
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A teacher goes around her class asking each of the kids what do they need at home. 1st kid says "A computer". Teacher replies "That'd be very useful." 2nd kid says "a new lawn mower" and gets a similar response. Little Johnny pops up and says " At my house we don't need nothin." The teacher asks ...
12/05/2011
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The Italian Virginity Test Mario is planning to marry and asks his family doctor how he could tell if his bride-to-be is still a virgin. His doctor says, "Mario, all the Italian men I know use three things for what we call a Do-It-Yourself Virginity Test Kit - A small can of red paint, a small ca...
12/02/2011
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A guy and a girl met at a bar. They started getting along really well they decide to go to the girl's place for a drink. A few drinks later, the guy took off his shirt and washed his hands. He then took off his socks and washed his hands. The girl looked at him and says: 'You must be a dentist!' ...
12/01/2011
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Virgin Olaf Swenson, out in his pasture in northern Minnesota,takes a lightning quick kick from a cow... right in his crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. 'How bad is it Doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next veek and my fiance...
11/30/2011
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Investment tips for 2012 With all the turmoil in the market today and the collapse of Lehman Bros and Acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America this might be some good advice. For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floo...
11/29/2011
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Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. She found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, shortage or no shortage, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.
11/28/2011
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A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat', agreed to look after her neighbors male dog at her house while they were away on vacation. She had a large house however and believed that she could keep them apart. As she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds. Sh...
11/23/2011
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Some of the places I have been to in life. I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an air...
11/22/2011
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Bad computer viruses INTEREST GROUP ECONOMIST VIRUS - Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer. ECONOMETRICIAN VIRUS - Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent o...
11/21/2011
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