maurice cohn's (vipermoe) Blog

A man joined a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he took off hisclothes and started to wander around the area. A gorgeous petite blonde walked by, and the man immediately got an erection. The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, 'did you call forme?' The man replie...

  Meaning of... 'potentially' and 'realistically' A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?"The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. T...

A lady calls the police to report her husband is missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he's 6 foot 2 inches tall, blonde wavy hair and has a smile that makes everybody love him. The police then go to the next door neighbor to verify this report and the lady next doo...

The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset aboutthis and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?" Maria: “Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze." "The first is that I iron better than you." Wife: "W...

Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. "What's the story this time, Jones?" he asked sarcastically. "Let's hear a good excuse for a change."Jones sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. The wife decided to drive me to ...

The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job; given her liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan and her jobs as a social worker and school teacher. The foreman frowned and said,  "I have to ask you this: "Have you had any actual expe...

This 60 year old woman was walking along 5th Avenue when she heard a voice from above "You will live to be 100." She looked around and didn't see anyone. Again she heard "You will live to be 100." Boy, she thought to herself, that was the voice of God. I've got 40 more years to live! So off she w...

An elderly Jewish gentleman who’s name isMori had serious hearing problems for a number of years. So he went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% He went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your ...

Seen in my local paper's "readers sales" section.FOR SALE BY OWNERComplete set of encyclopaedia Britannica.45 Volumes. Excellent condition.1000 dollars or best offer.Reason for sale: No longer required.Got married last weekend.Wife knows everything.

  The true meaning of male statements Statement: "I'm a Romantic."True Meaning: "I'm poor."Statement: "You're the only girl I've ever cared about."True Meaning: "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me."Statement: "I really want to get to know you better."True Meaning: "So I can tell my frie...