Steve Merson's Blog

61. Have you ever considered liposuction? 62. And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner! 63. What are you planning to make for breakfast? 64. I have a confession.. 65. I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home! 66. Are those real or am I just behind the times?67. Were you by ...

51. Do you know the definition of statutory rape? 52. Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes? 53. You look younger than you feel. 54. Perhaps you're just out of practice. 55. You sweat more than a galloping stallion! 56. They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a ras...

41. I wish we got the Playboy channel..42. That leak better be from the waterbed! 43. I told you it wouldn't work without batteries! 44. But my cat always sleeps on that pillow..45. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed? 46. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance. 47. No, real...

31. (In a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work? 32. Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth... 33. Did you know the ceiling needs painting? 34. I think you have it on backwards. 35. When is this supposed to feel good? 36. Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs! 37. You're good enough ...

21. (Holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo! 22. Do you get any premium movie channels? 23. Try not to smear my make-up, will ya! 24. (Preparing to incorporate peanut butter) But I just steam-cleaned this couch! 25. Got any penicillin? 26. But I just brushed my teeth... 2...

11. Person 1: This is your first time... right? Person 2: Yeah... today. 12. Hurry up! This room rents by the hour! 13. Can you please pass me the remote control? 14. Do you accept Visa? 15. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz16. On second thought, let's turn off the lights. 17. And to think -- I was really tryin...

1. But everybody looks funny naked! 2. You woke me up for that? 3. Did I mention the video camera? 4. Do you smell something burning? 5. (In a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead...6. Try breathing through your nose. 7. A little rug burn never hurt anyone! 8. Is that a Medic-Alert Pend...

A man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighbourhood. Suddenly he realised there was a couple making love out on the lawn. Then he noticed another couple over behind a tree. Then another couple behind some bushes by the house. He walked up to the door of the house, an...

Blues locations: - Chicago - St. Louis - Kansas City - the highway - a crossroads - the jail house - an empty bed Not Blues locations: - Disney World - the mall - gallery openings - wine tastings - a weekend in the Hamptons Blues transportation: - Chevys - Cadillacs - a Greyhound bus - a southbou...

Years ago, the Seattle Symphony was doing Beethoven's Ninth under the baton of Milton Katims. At this point, you must understand two things:1. There's a long segment in this symphony where the basses don't have a thing to do. Nothing. Not a single note for page after page;2. There used to be a ta...