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Just had no choice...I HAD to steal this!President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang. "Hello, President Obama” a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is Archie, down here at Joe's Catfish Shack, in Mobile, and I am callin' to tell y'all that we are officially de...
West Virginia FARM KID in Marines (NOW AT San Diego MARINE CORPS RECRUIT TRAINING ) Dear Ma and Pa, I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled. I was rest...
At an Irish Wedding reception, the DJ said --- All married men -- please stand next to the person who has made your life worth living. The bartender was almost crushed to death.
After a very busy day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes as the train departed Montreal for Hudson. As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: "Hi sweetheart it's Eric, I'm on the train -...
I was at the store late the other night and I was really tired. I may even have been the last customer before the place closed. Cute girl at the register said , "Strip Down, Facing Me" It didn't dawn on me that she was talking about the swiping of my Debit Card. The Good news is, Bail is ...
A very old man lay dying in his bed. In death's doorway, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookie wafting up the stairs.He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even...
An Arizona Department of Safety Officer pulled over a pick-up truck owner for a faulty taillight. When the officer approached the driver, the man behind the wheel handed the officer his driver's license, insurance card and a concealed weapon carry permit.The officer took all the documents, looked...
CURTAIN RODS --- On the first day, a divorced man sadly packed his belongingsinto boxes, crates and suitcases.On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things.On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; he put on some ...
What is Celibacy?Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances. While attending a Marriage Weekend, Frank and his wife MaryAnn listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other." He then addre...
How the world works lately... If a man cuts his finger off while slicing salami at work, he blames the restaurant. If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer, your family blames the tobacco company. If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, he bla...