CANDACE STEVENS's (numbercruncherllc) Blog

Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them in fifty years' time.The first said, "I would like my grandchildren to say 'He was great fun to be with.'""Fifty years from now," said the second, "I want mine to say 'He was a loyal and loving family m...

The recently enacted Consolidated Appropriations Act extends and expands some tax breaks. You can deduct 100 percent of your dine-in and take-out business meals that are provided by restaurants in 2021 and 2022.For hiring members of 10 targeted groups, you can obtain the work opportunity tax cred...

An elderly couple was attending a church service. About halfway through the wife leans over and says, "I just did a silent fart, what do you think I should do?"The husband replies, "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."      

A Sunday School teacher was telling the story of the Good Samaritan to her class of 4 and 5 year-olds. She was making it as vivid as possible to keep the children interested in her tale.At one point, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside all wounded and bleeding, what wo...

Emergency financial aid grants made by a federal agency, state, Indian tribe, higher education institution, or scholarship-granting organization (including a tribal organization) to a student because of an event related to the COVID-19 pandemic are not included in the student’s gross income. Also...

Little Johnny had just been put to bed for the umpteenth time and his mother's patience was wearing thin. "If I hear you call 'Mother' one more time, you will be punished," she warned him sternly.For a while it was quiet, and then she heart a small voice call from the top of the stairs, "Mrs. Jon...

Why won’t Easter eggs go out at night?They don’t want to get “beat up”. Why couldn’t the Easter egg family watch T.V.?Because their cable was scrambled. What is Easter Bunny’s favorite kind of music?Hip-hop, of course! Why shouldn’t you tell an Easter egg a joke?It might crack up!

The young man says to his date, "I really like the perfume you're wearing. What's it called?"The young lady looks puzzled for a minute then searches through her purse, finally dumping the contents on the table between them. She searches through the pile and finally finds a small spray bottle.She ...

Two men were working at the sawmill and one guy got too close to the saw and cut his ear off. It fell in the sawdust pit so he jumped down into the pit and was hunting around trying to find it.The second guy saw him and hollered down, "What're you doing?"The first man said that he had cut off his...

April Fool's Day Prank Ideas: Pick a person and at an assigned time have everyone else in the office stand up in complete silence and leave the room in single file. Bonus – film the reaction. Offer someone chocolate, and as they’re eating it start pointing and laughing. Don’t say anything, just l...