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Mortgage and Lending - Lawrence Bland International
Texas Mortgage Lender, Texas Real Estate Sales Agent
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A new sales assistant was hired at a large department store. On his first day, the sales manager took him around to show him the ropes. They were passing by the gardening section, when they heard a customer asking for grass seed. The sales manager stepped in.Sales manager: Excuse me, but will you...
03/21/2008
Ask for a raise "I have to have a raise in my commission," the agent said to his manager. "There are three other companies after me." "Is that so?" asked the manager. "What other companies are after you?""The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company."Commission CheckAn agent w...
03/21/2008
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The great debate on Wife or MistressA doctor, a lawyer and a real estate agent were discussing the relative merits of having a wife or a mistress.The lawyer says: "For sure a mistress is better. If you have a wife and want a divorce, it causes all sorts of legal problems."The doctor says: "It's b...
03/21/2008
This is for those of you that have a really good sense of humor.HOW TO HANDLE IRRITATING SEATMATES ON AN AIRPLANEIf you are sitting next to someone who irritates you, follow theseinstructions:1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case.2. Remove your laptop.3. Start up.4. Make sure the guy who...
03/21/2008
FYI.... Be sure to read Scene 3." Quite interesting. SCENE 1. This is a new one.  People sure stay busy trying to cheat us, don't they? A friend went to the local gym and placed his belongings in the locker.  After the workout and a shower, he came out, saw the locker open, and thought to himself...
03/19/2008
Female Comebacks! Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty?Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. Man: So, what do you do for a living? W...
03/07/2008
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This was written By Regina Brett, The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio   To  celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the  most requested column I've ever written. My odometer rollsover to 50 this  week, so here's an update:  1.  Life isn't fair, but it's still  goo...
02/28/2008
Embarrassing Medical Exams                                                                                                       1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her  baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to t...
02/24/2008
Ok, there seems to be allot of confusion out there.  Everybody keeps asking if FHA loan limits were increased with the Economic Stimulus Act, and if so, by how much?  In the final version the Stimulus Act was signed by President Bush on  February 13th.  To answer the question, "are FHA limits inc...
02/18/2008
02/17/2008
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